Former footballer Flávio Donizete has revealed that he destroyed his career and life with drugs.
The former Brazilian defender sold his FIFA Club World Cup winners' medal from São Paulo's 1-0 victory over Liverpool in 2005.
At just 21, Flavio watched from the bench as São Paulo, with Rogério Ceni, Cicinho, and Amoroso on the field, defeated Liverpool in Japan to become world champions, less than six months after winning the Copa Libertadores.
Flávio regrets
A Copa Libertadores winner two decades ago, Donizete recounted his ordeal with a seven-year drug addiction, as reported by Gsp.
"When I craved cocaine, I'd use it up to 20 times a day to kill my ego!" the former defender admitted in an interview with Globoesporte. "The more you use, the more trapped you become. I sold what I'd worked so hard to achieve," said Donizete, whose career peaked prematurely.
The Brazilian's nightmare began innocently: "I started going out with friends and drinking. After getting drunk, I saw a group of people using drugs and I tried it too." This was the start of a vicious, agonizing cycle that turned his life upside down.
"I was addicted to cocaine for almost two years. Every time I used it, I sank deeper," he recalled. He ran out of money, and the need to feed his addiction led him to desperate decisions. He sold everything he owned, including his 2005 Club World Cup winners' medal!
"I sold it without realizing. Of course, I regretted it later. It was something I earned through hard work and sweat, and I sold it for next to nothing to satisfy this craving. After the high wore off, I thought, 'What the hell have I done? How could I do this?' It's outrageous!" - Flavio Donizete, former Brazilian defender
Flávio Donizete ended his career in 2019 at Portuguesa: "I could have gone further if it weren't for the drugs. I wouldn't have been a football phenomenon, but I had a lot of opportunities that I let slip away."
"I don't need to keep crying and remembering the past. I know it's painful and sad sometimes, because I wish I were in a different situation. But God has shaped me so that I can share this testimony with others, so they do what's right and stay on the right path in life."
"My body craved the drug. When I had a drink, I automatically wanted to use drugs. I've experienced this. After drinking a beer, the first thing I did was buy 50 reais worth of drugs." - Flavio Donizete, former Brazilian defender
In the Globoesporte interview, Donizete described how his wife fought to save him: "I didn't carry money. Never. If I was alone and had 10 reais in my wallet, I knew I'd go buy drugs. If I found 30 reais in her wallet, I'd take it all. One day, Cibele realized and told me, 'From now on, you're only leaving the house with empty pockets!'"
"Cibele was watching me 24/7. If I went to the bathroom, if I went out to take out the trash, she was always right behind me. Without her support, my downfall would have been irreversible."
For seven years, Flavio Donizete abused cocaine, enduring harrowing months due to his addiction: "I remember one withdrawal episode. I didn't want to leave the house at all because I knew that if I did, I'd use. I was living in a favela in Itapecerica da Serra."
"There are many places there where people use drugs like they're drinking water. I took some too, and it gave me a sensation... my tongue went numb, my throat dried up. I came home and told my wife, 'I don't feel well. I need to get high.'"
"She stopped me. She put medication in my juice, and I passed out, I wouldn't wake up for anything. I'd get up at night, restless, and I'd drink the juice that makes you sleep for three days. I'd wake up at 3 p.m., eat, and she'd ask me if I was craving drugs again. I'd nod that I was. And we'd start all over. I slept for another week."
"The need is desperate, agonizing. The drugs had numbed me. Cocaine was like a headache remedy. It gives you that desire, madness, pleasure in the moment. A little later, it becomes sadness, then joy again. You have good moments, after which you crash into depression." - Flavio Donizete, former Brazilian defender
Drugs destroyed his future as a footballer, and Flavio could never return to his previous level. Never. He refused offers for fear of failing a drug test. "I started gaining weight because of the drinking, my knees started hurting, and I couldn't run anymore. All of this along with the cocaine. That's when I told myself, 'I'll quit forever.'"
"I stopped going out because the money was running low. I couldn't use my card anymore, buy the drinks I wanted, imported whiskey. I started going to the bars near my house because there was more to drink, and I paid less. Then, I stopped making the effort to go out. I'd get a case of beer and five more bottles of Coca-Cola and stay home."
From alcohol, he soon moved on to cocaine: "I would have done anything to buy drugs. If I got 15 reais and had nothing to eat, I didn't think about taking the money home. The first thing was cocaine. Sometimes, my daughters didn't eat. Out of 20 reais, I'd buy eggs for 5 and spend 15 on cocaine. Sometimes I wouldn't even bring the eggs. I'd leave my family to eat plain rice and beans."
To survive, Donizete worked as a bricklayer and painter or found work on construction sites. "I felt guilty because I was often unemployed. People would point at me on the street, calling me a bum, a scoundrel. Friends and family started to stay away from me." The only person who remained loyal to him was Cibele. They've been fighting together for almost 20 years.
"She is my guardian angel, and I love her very much. I can do many other things for her, but I will never be able to repay her for what she has done for me. If Cibele abandoned me, I'd buy drugs from the first street corner. If she hadn't been with me, I'd be a dead man. People don't know what she had to go through with me!"
Cibele acknowledged the nightmare but doesn't regret staying with him: "I often heard people say, 'How long are you going to stay with him? He's a scoundrel, a cheat, an addict, a bum.' He is a scoundrel, but he's my scoundrel! He's an addict, but he's mine! I knew God would free him. And so, I stayed with Flavio, and here we are today. I can't explain it, but there's a lot of love behind it!"
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